Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Introspection

[nb: this was never meant to be a fully constructed rant, but I liked it and thought "what the hell". I apologize for the large blocks of unorganised and unrefined text, and the more rantish nature of the rant.]


Who am I?


I am me. I am the corporal form of my intelligence, emotions, and moral code. I strive for my moral values, I shun unattractive entities, I learn, mold, and adapt. I hold a strong value to intellectual stimulus, with a lesser kinship to emotions. I live through a constant influx of numbers that translate me to the rest of the world. I am my ideas, ideas slightly different from everyone else. I condone, promote and encourage intellectual advancement, as well as shun any block to the advancement of knowledge. I encourage the free exchange of Ideas, regardless of the values those ideas hold. I hold a deep disgust of anything preventing a free exchange of ideas, no matter how unacceptable they are by the values of current society, for it is my belief that, while societies come and go, Ideas wander through time, unchanged. I am allergic to the idea of the destruction of knowledge, be it through burning a library, silencing an opinion, or promoting one set of values over another. I live my life through numbers: the constant numbers of time, the regular numbers of our exchanges of goods and services, the numbers that evaluate our intelligence quota, the numbers that change our life on a daily basis. I strive to collect and analyze those numbers to further reveal what it is to be us. To be human. I strive for logic, and dismiss opinions founded on emotions. I enjoy the chaotic flux of life, and am quickly bored by the stagnant. I live for change – be it of numbers, of values, of life. I am the combination of an infinite amount of thoughts, feelings, emotions, values, as are you, as is he, as is she. I am me.


Am I free?


I am free to the extent that a human can be free: I may think my thoughts, develop them, and exchange them with others. While still bound by the innate laws of nature, I am free to expand my thoughts until they encompass all I know, and am free to be able to distill those thoughts to paper for others to pick up and tinker with. I am free to think, to express, and have reached the limit of freedom allowed a human being: I am free to, in a large fashion, control my life, and to a limited extent the lives of those around me, the most we humans may be able to claim as their own. I am free to think, which is the only true, unlimited and unregulated feat left for us. While our bodies are bound by laws that we do not fully understand, our minds our free to explore to the limits of our imaginations. I am free to take these ideas and do with them as I please – I may decide to do nothing, or I may attempt to revolutionize the world with the fragments of thought in my head. I am free to act upon what I deem necessary, within the omnipotent laws of nature. I am free to rally those around me, and am free to express my opinion. I am free to bear the full responsibilities of my opinion and its impact on society, no matter how broad the term “society” might dictate. I am free to be as free as my situation dictates I should be. I am free, yet a slave to the freedom of those around me, because humans may never be truly free without bringing about the destruction of freedom. I am free to truthfully answer the question as to whether or not I am free, and by doing that, prove that I am, indeed, as free as I am able to be.

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